Falling Apart

This is me
Falling apart.
Going in circles.
Not knowing
when to stop.

This is me.
Ready to fall.
Ready to crash.
Ready to burn.

This is me.
Lost inside.
Silenced pain.

This is me.
Letting go.
I wouldn't have
even dared.

But let's face it.
I'm not me.
I never have been.

I once'd loved what
no one else could.
But now it's over
and long gone.

Along with my heart.
And all that makes me
....Me?

It was then. I would
have done anything
you asked.

It was the. I would have
gone to a darker place
than I already am.

But now I need change.
Now I need to stop
falling apart....

I'm slowing loosing myself.
To what?
I have scars,
but why?
What was my reason?

I can't take this.
I can't handle it.
It needs to stop.
It has to end.

But how do I stop
from falling apart?
How can I go on?
I'm falling...and I'm
falling hard...

Will there be someone
to catch me?
Or will I meet the ground
dead on?

gone wrong

What now?

What is there to do?

Can I just let it be?

Can I just let it go?

Is there anything left?

Anyone left?

Someone who understands?
Someone who cares?

Is there anything left for me
in this dark world?

Is there that one person who

can prove he truely cares?

Does anyone care?
Is there someone out there
who is willing to listen
and wont judge me
for being me?

A lost lonely girl.
With everything
gone wrong.
With no doubt in her
mind.

So. Is it worth it?
To put everything ahead
behind and everything
behind ahead?

When it's gone wrong.
And makes no sense.
At all.
With nothing left.

You Say You Love Me

You say you love me.
And my heart stops.
What am I supposed to say to that?
What am I supposed to do?


We broke up,
what seems ages ago.
Yet here you are,
wanting to talk.


About what?
Should I even listen?
Should I even care?
What now?


You've said this to me
a million times before.
What makes this time different
from the rest?


It's been what?
A month?
Since we last spoke.
Yet here you are.


Just to say you still
love me.


Now how long will it be till
we speak again?

Just Stop It or Leave

screaming
fighting
hating
yelling.

children
heart-ake
useless whining.

past memories
returning.
screaming
fighting
hating
yelling.

please stop it.
i can't take it.
it's way too much.
it's way too violent.

the little kids
don't need to witness
they don't need the scars.
nor the pain.

plain & simple.
Stop It Or Leave.
it's abuse.
it's scary to children.
not knowing what to do.
but leave it in.

do you really want to start an
 abusive cycle with this?
do you really want you're children
to whiteness this & think it's okay?

i sure as hell wouldn't.
it's wrong.
& it NEEDS to end.
It HAS To End.

So Just Stop It Or Leave.

Holding Back

Holding back
Letting in
Strangers walk

Counter-clock.


How can I keep this in?
I don't even know.
Who are you to tell
Me to what to do?


Who are you to make me give up?
To make me feel less than who I am?
How can I trust you...
When you don't even trust me?


How can I love you...
When you don't love me?
I'm knocking on your door.
So let me in.


Before it's too late
and I walk away
Forever,
to never turn back.

Demons&Angels

yes i've heard them.
i got scared.
i felt the fear.
i saw saw them...
the cold beings....
no....
not beings...
but demons...
demons of hell...

But that's not all.

I knew something else
I felt the warm touch.
Knew the safety.
Felt the love.
Saw the glow...
The form...
The being...
Of an angel...
Angels of heaven.

But I'm Torn.

Demons haunt me.
Angels save me.
They both know me.
I hear them both.
But...evil is overpowering...
And i'm falling into a dark place.
Demons are more closer to view.
I'm more than scared.
More than frightened.

But it wont end.

Dark is overpowering everything.
I try to listen.
But the demonic whispers...
Come louder than anything.
I don't want this.
This fear swelling up inside me.
I don't want to lose myself into this.
I don't want to cry in this agony.

It's not all the same. I do not choose Evil. I choose Good. Yet, Evil is so much closer to me than good is.

Valentines Day

It's this time of year I can't stand.
The time of love.

Something I can do without.

Your heart gets broken.
Your soul gets shattered.
Your dreams get lost.
All hope fails.
It's at this moment.
When love either begins or dies.
Comes or goes.
Increases or fades.