Broken, Shattered

Broken Shattered
Barely Breathing
Hell Is Waiting
For My Soul

Take It In,
Leaving Nothing
But A Distant
Memory.

Rooms Are Spinning
Time Is Fading
Losing Control
Of My Very Being.

Nothing Is Real
It's All An Image
Lost Within
The Very Meaning.

I Love You
I Hate You
I Miss You
I Need You.

Shit I Don't Need
Love I Can't Feel
Nothing I See
Seems So Real.

Broken Shattered
Barely Breathing
Hell Is Waiting
So I Think...

Knowing Nothing
But What's Real
I'm Still Here
Standig Still.

Dear X-Best Friend.

You were once my best friend.
And even though you supposidly aren't anymore...
I still talk about you all the time.
I still wear the stuff you got me.
I still go through all the pictures
And watch that video of you singing
7 things I hate about you by miley cyrus.

Even though you hate me
And want me forever out of your life..
I miss you like crazy and wish you were here!

Let me get one thing accross,
I never lied to you.
I was immature on telling you
Something that happened in the past.
And the way it came to your attention
Was...well fucked up.

You know how I am,
I wont say shit to someone
Whose more than pissed.

Hopefully someday this will all blow over
And you'll realize that I never intended on hurting you.

I know you said that I never cared about you,
Yet you have no idea how many times I've stood up to you.

All this was was one big missunderstanding
And bad timing. Still it doesn't change anything.

I'll always feel you deserve someone wayy better than him.

And you, my dear friend, should know me better than to
Jump to conclusions. You know me better than I know myself.

I'll always wish for the best for you,
And for you to ALWAYS be happy.

You should know that.

You may block me out of your life all you want,
I wont do that in return.

And before you pull the bs card.

Think a moment.
Close your eyes,
Take a deep breath

And focus on what you
Want to know.

Love you always and forever,
--Despite any and all arguments and fights, I'll be there when you need me.

Just A Thought

This may just be,
A pointless thought.
A helpless wonder,
Where all can lose
Their temper
Or control.

What is it that really binds us?
That makes us so similar...
Yet...different?

We toss and turn at an idea,
May it be either:
Love or Hate.

We question them,
Not ever bothering
To understand....
Truth.

We love what we hold dear,
What we can't have,
Is always what we desire most....
Am I wrong?

If so tell me,
Correct me if you will:
What is love?

Or are you too much of a coward?

The term of Hate is rather different...
I suppose...it really depends on the why.
Do you ever question why you hate someone?
Is it because you hold something meaningless against them?
Is it because you want to be accepted by a crowed and think as they do?

We all have hatred in us. It's an emotion. Just like Love.
However, is the saying true...The one that claims
Love can conquer all?

Like I had said.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Or are you too much of a coward
To put in your thought,
Your opinion?

Control

I Shouldn't Let You Control Me,
The Way I Do...
It Seems No Matter How Far
No Matter Whom I'm With.
The Thought Of You Creeps Into My Mind.
Pushing Me And Pushing Me.
Creeping Up In The Shadows,
Though You Remain Nowhere Near.
You're Voice Rings In My Ears.
Begging To Go On.
Driving The Very Being Of My Soul Out.
Leaving Me broken And Heartless.
Leaving Me In Shame And Misery.

You Said It Would Get Better.
You Said The Pain Would Go Away,
But It's Still There.
Itching At My Very Core To Rush Out
And Destroy Everything I Care About.

Why? Why Me? Why This?
Why Was It You Chose The Cowards Way Out?
Leaving Behind Someone More Fragile Than She Was When You Met Her?

I Wonder Why

Turning Tables
Twisting Tides
Remembering All
Those Little Lies.

Screaming And Fighting
Waking And Crying
Pinning Needles
In My Eyes.

Wishing And Hoping
My Love Would Die
For You That Is,
I Wonder Why.

Do You See It?

Do You See It?
The Dark Shadow Hanging Over?
Do You See The Shapes It Forms?
The Movements It Makes?
Do You See It Slowly Fading?
The Dark Shadow Hanging Over?

The Dark Shadow
Is Nothing But An Image.
An Image Of Who I Am
And Who I Was.

breaking over

breaking over

turning tides

listening to all those 
useless lies.

tossing and turning 
in helpless dreams 
wishing and hoping 
in endless seams.

It Will All Remain The Same.

I Keep Wondering
I Keep Thinking
I Keep Hoping
I Keep Wishing

But It Doesn't Help
It Doesn't Change Anything
It Makes Me Less
Than Who I Am.

When It Comes To Me,
Only I Can Save Myself.
Only I Can Break Out Of
The Dark And See The Light.

But It Doesn't Change Anything.
I'll Never Learn.
I'll Stay The Same
And Remain.

No Matter How Many
Times I Argue
No Matter How Many
Times I Fight
No Matter How Many
Times I Cry.

It Will All Remain The Same.
Unless I Take A Stand
Destroy My Past
Defeat My Demons.

With One Step At A Time.

Poisoning of the Mind

i feel like my mind is poisoned

like someone else is in control of what i think

i feel like there isn't much to do

i'm helpless and don't know what to do

i feel like screaming at the top of my lungs

but no words leave my lips.

it's a poisoning of the mind,

self controlled,

self centered.

Doing Better

I'm Doing Better Today
Than I Was Yesterday.


I'm Doing Better Now,
Than I Ever Was Then.


You May Have Torn Me Down
It Only Helped Me Stand Stronger Than Before.


Now I Need To Keep Looking Forward.
Now I Need To Keep Moving On.


Letting Go Of Everything In The Past
Holding On To Everything The Future Holds.


I'm Doing Better Today,
Than I Was Yesterday <3

You Are, Who You Are

It's better to stand out, than to try and fit in.
Fitting in makes you something you're not.
It Changes You.
Be WHO You are
Not What EVERYONE Else Wants You To Be.

You Are You:
Beautiful, Smart, Talented, Special, Amazing.
The List Goes On and On.

Why Try To Be Something Different
Than Who You've Become Today?
Why Try To be Something You're Not
Just To Make Other's Happy?

Why Even Bother?

You Are, Who You are
And No One Has A Say In That.
Just You, And Only You.

So, All You Girls and Boys
Who Are Trying To Fit In
And Act Like You're Someone You
Truly Are Not.

Stop And Ask Yourself,
"What Will They Think If I Be Just Me?"
You Might Think They Wont Like The Real You,
And Fake It Anyway.

AND

If You Do That, You'll Never Know
If They'll Accept You For YOU.

SO

Try It Anyway.
What's There To Lose?
You Being Mocked And Laughed At?
Judged For Liking What You Like?

If They Can't Accept You For You,
Then They Aren't Worth Being Friends With.

Sometimes

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I didn't go through all that I went through. How different I would be due to that. I doubt anyone would be who they are today if it weren't for what they had to overcome throughout their life, or what they will come to in their future. How we handle each situation defines who we are. Does it not? Is it simply how we overcome the obstacles in our path? Or simply how our actions take upon each decision? Or is it all just the same? 

No Matter

No Matter Where Life Takes Or Leads You. 

No Matter Who You Meet. 

No Matter How MAny Times You Fall In Love. 

No Matter How Many Times Your Heart Get's Broken. 

No Matter How Many Times You Fall To The Ground. 

Take A Deep Breath And Look Up To See Whose There 

To Help You Get Back Up To Your Feet. 

Get Up And Dust Yourself Off. 

No One Wnts To Live In The Past Yet 

There Are Those Who Still Do, 

And No One Waits For Them Or 

Deals With What Went Down Then. 

The Past Is The Past. 

It's Gone And Over With. 

The futures Just A Day Away And The Now Is The Present.

Wish I Didn't Miss Him

Sometimes I Wish I Didn't Miss Him
Each Night I Toss And Turn

My Heart Feels Empty
As A Darkness Reveals.

It Doesn't Seem To Matter
Or Process Through

He's Living His Life
I'm Living Mine.

In My Heart I'll Always Love Him,
Weather He Does Or Not, I'd Never Know.


Life Is Filled With Love
Life Is Filled With Heartbreak.

How We Handle It
Defines Who We Are.

It's How We Learn From It
Helps Us Grow <3

My Opinion On Child Abuse

Now, I don't know who reads this, One thing I need to make clear is that I am saying nothing but my own opinion on what I think child abuse is and the signs they would give off due to my own personal experience, which I'm not going to go into.

What do children mean to you? Are they just a nuisance? Or are they a symbol of joy and happiness? To me, a child is someone that needs to be treasured, not everybody is capable to bring a child into this world. Sometimes, the wrong people bring children into this world and mistreat them. There are many forms of child abuse. There's verbal, physical, mental, emotional, and even sexual. There are many signs in a child's behavior that could point to them being abused. Like flinching when someone makes a fast sudden movement like raising their hand up. To them being extremely quite and not wanting to get involved in anything. Or you wont even be able to tell at all because they'd try to hide it by acting like it's not even happening. Sometimes they'd be able to speak up for themselves, others would be to scared to, they'd let the fear of being hurt even more and keep to themselves, not knowing that it'd end up being the death of them. Fear, eats people alive. To overcome a fear, can be challenging, especially for a child. The signs are all there. You just need to learn what to look for.

Abuse goes in cycles, starting from childhood. Children learn from the adults they're surrounded by and pick up the littlest things, the bad things and think it's ok to act that way. Children are so fragile and open minded, willing to learn and wanting to know what everything and anything is. Children are what makes the next generation. If you want the world to be better, keep violence out of a child's life and teach them right from wrong the correct way. Don't yell or beat them, cause they'll only think that it's ok to do that with their kids in the future. Sometimes people can break out of that abusive cycle they were brought into and that right there is a huge start, breaking that cycle.

I'm against Child Abuse. I always have been, and I always will be.

You're That Stage In Life.

You're That Stage In Life,
I Want To Forget, But
No Matter How Hard I Try
No Matter How Hard I Fight
Each Time I Try
I Die Inside.

You're That Stage In Life,
That Makes Everything Perfect.
That Makes Everything New,
That Makes Everything Exciting,
That Makes Everything Make Sense.

You're That Stage In Life,
That's Like A Thrilling Adventure.

But You're No Longer A Stage In Life.
Not In Mine Anymore At Least.
You're Just A Memory That's
Slowly Fading Away,
And Taking My Breath Away As It Goes.
As It Continues To Fade.

I'm Not Giving In.
I'm Not Giving Up.
I'm Not Letting Go.

I'm Falling To Pieces.
I'm Fading With The Memories
That Seem Like A Dream.

I'm Back To Reality,
Where Nothing Has Ever Changed.
Where My Life Is Still Dull And Boring.
Where I Pretend To Be Someone I'm Not
And Hide Behind A Mask Refusing To Let Anyone In.

It's Who I Was Before You,
It's Who I'll Continue To Be
Now That You're Gone.
Leaving Me With No Reason
To Stay The Same,
To Stay Who You Knew Me As.

You're That Stage In Life
I Wish I Could Forget.
I Wish I Could Let Go Of.
I Wish Never Happened.

Before You I Had Built A Wall,
Not To Block Anyone Out,
But To See Who Loves Me Enough
To Climb Over It.
To See Who Loves Me Enough To 

Fight Their Way Through.

I Let My Guard Down With You.
I Took Off The Mask I Always Wore.
I Let You In.  Just You. Only You.

Now I'm Left Fading Away 

From The Light.

Now I'm Lost In 

The Dark.

Back Where I Was

Long Before You.

And You Were Nothing

But A Stage In My Life.

A Distant Memory

That's Fading Away

With Everything I Once Was

And Will Never Again Be.

Happy St.. Patrick's Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day Everybody!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
I Hope Y'all Enjoy Every Moment Of Today And That Y'all Are Wearing Green!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

My Heart Is Broken.

My Heart Is Broken.
But I Have To Go On
And Be Someone New Now.

I Lost Myself In Believing
The Promises You Made.

I Lost Myself In Something
That Wouldn't Ever Last.

You're Gone And Moving On.
I'm Still Here Standing Still..
Waiting For A Reason To Breathe,

There's A Reason Why I Never Let Anyone In.
Why I Let You In, I Will Never Know.

There's A Reason Why I Don't Let People See
 Me For Who I Really Am.
And I Let You In Completely
And You Met The Girl No One Knows Me As.

Now I'm Going Back To Hiding Behind A Mask.
Only To Protect Myself From Hurting
By A Broken Heart.

I Used To Say You Can't Break Something
That's Already Broken.
Yet, You Managed To Piece Me Back Together
Only To Break Me More Than I Was To Begin With.

Half Alive To Alright

I'm Half Alive.

Dealing With A Broken Heart

And A Shattered Soul.

Everything Inside Is Broken

In A Million Pieces.

I Hadn't Believed In Love Till I Met Him.

He Left As Easily As He Walked In My Life.

He's Gone With The Best Part Of Me.

The Strong And Loving Part Of Me.

Back To Pretending.

Back To Acting.

Half Alive To Alright.

I'm Not Me Anymore.

I'm Hidden Behind A Mask.

Guarding What's Left Of Me.

Which Isn't Much.

I'm Soulless And Heartless.

I Can't Feel Anything Anymore.

I'm Not Here. I'm Nowhere

To Be Found.

I'm Lost In An Endless Nightmare.

Waiting To Be Found.

Knowing It Wont Happen.

What'll Hapeen When All Get's Worse?

Darkness Falls And Surrounds Me.

Something Evil Is Just Around The Corner

Waiting To Take What's Left Of Me.

I'm Half Alive To Alright.

When Will This Nightmare End?

When Will I Come Back To Reality?

Unheard and Unnoticed

I Feel Like I Can't Even Breathe.

I Still Get Butterflies When You Reply Back To A Message.

I Still Get Butterflies When I Hear Your Voice.

I Still Get Butterflies When I  Hear Your Name.

You Cloud My Dreams 

And I Still Remain

Unheard and Unnoticed.

I Prayed To God Where I Should Go

and What I Should Do.

All I Saw Was You.

What I'd Give To Be By Your Side

What I'd Give To Hold You Tight

What I'd Give For One More Kiss.

What I'd Give For One More Touch.

But You're Moving On.

So You Have Said.

I Don't Know Where To Go.

Or What To Do.

I Remain Unheard and Unnoticed.

The Tears Still Fall.

I'm Still Broken.

Nothing Makes Sense Anymore.

I Was Finally Where I Was

Supposed To Be.

The You Left And Pushed

Me Back To The Beginning.

It Seems As If You Saved Me

Just To End Up

Breaking Me.

I Could Scream And

Cry As Loud As I Can.

But I Would Still Remain

Unheard and Unnoticed

Beautiful Disaster

It doesn't matter. Does it? If you can give your all to someone and just walk away. You never loved them to begin with. The one that held true in the relationship is the one screaming to be heard by the other. But they wont listen. They are either trying to put it behind or have moved on. Not even a single explanation. It leaves you lost in a depression that only you and time can heal and get over. You can wish and hope and pray for them to realize the mistake they made and to come back. But they wont. Not unless they truly did love you. There's that saying; "If you truly love someone, then you need to let them go. If they don't come back they weren't yours to begin with. If they do come back they were and will always be yours" or something like that i guess. But what if you can't let someone you love go? What if you came to a point where you can't even think straight and you forget everything and can't even sleep or eat or even breathe? You feel like you're nothing but an empty shell without them? What are you supposed to do? Fight back the tears. Pretend you're ok when all you want to do is cry and scream at the top of your lungs? Pray to whatever god there is for the pain to end and for everything to go back to how it was before?

When it comes to. You have to at least try to move on. Even when you feel you can't and that it's impossible. I know I can't. I know it's impossible for me. I fell. And I fell hard. And it's a long way up. I can't do it by myself.

Valentines Day

It’s the day I hate the most.

It’s the day filled with love and laughter for some.

It’s the day filled with grief and sorrow for others.

It seems like around ever Valentine’s Day 

it’s the end of a relationship.

For other’s it’s the beginning.

For me it’s flat out depressing.

I hate this day.

Nothing ever goes right.

EVER.

My heart is more broken this year than 

it ever has been.

So I’m gonna shut myself down and 

not let anyone in anymore.

Dying.

I Feel Like I'm Slowly Dying.

Like I'm Lost In A World That Doesn't Exist.

I Feel Like I Have Nothing To Live For.

Everything's Gone. Nothing's The Same.

I Feel Like I'm Not A Part Of This World.

I'm Somewhere Far Away.

Can You See Me Slowly Die Inside?

Can You Hear My Screams For Help?

Can You Feel The Pain Inside?

I Have Nothing Left To Live For.

Everything I Tried To Accomplish...

Was All For You.

Now You're Gone.

And I'm Back Where I Was.

Dying. Slowly. 

Lost In A World Of

Depression And Misery.

With Nothing Yet Everything To Lose.

I've Gone Completely Numb.

I Can't Feel A Thing.

All My Emotions Are Gone.

They're All Molded Into One.

Depression Of Dying Slowly.

I Can Barely Breathe.

I Can't Even Think Straight.

I'm Forgetting Everything.

The Tears Keep Rushing Down...

I CAN"T DO THIS

I'm Back Where I Started.

Broken In A Million Pieces.

Can't.

Can't Fight This Empty Feeling.

Can't Fight The Tears From Falling.

Can't Fight The Hopless Dreaming.

Can't Fight The Useless Longing.

Can't Fight The Feeling.

Can't Fight Being Alone.

Can't Fight The Cold.

Can't Fight Hating Love.

Can't Fight The Soundless Screams.

Can't Fight The Broken Soul.

Can't Heal This Broken Heart.

Can't Fight This Depression.

Can't Fight It All.

Silenced By My Own Emotions

I feel like I’m trapped in a bubble suffocating.

I don’t know what to do or where to go.

I’m lost.

Everything I used to know is gone.

I can’t feel anything but the tears streaming down my cheeks.

I can feel the emptiness that surrounds me.

I’m silenced by my own emotions.

I’m nothing but lost in my own depression.

With everything I have at on a thin wire.

I can’t breathe knowing what I might lose.

Knowing what might happen.

I fear it…